Friday, July 27, 2012

Three Things You Could Have Done Better

It's time for our challenge, Three Things You Could Have Done Better. 
This is a prompt to challenge you to write of feelings, emotions, reconciliation, acceptance... Are you going to write a letter to your love? Or do you think you should visit someone, explain yourself.
The prompt suggests First Person POV, but it's up to you.
GUIDELINES: 400 words of prose or poetry. Must contain a romantic element, small or significant.

When you told me that you wanted to leave, I thought it was just another one of your childish games.  The idea seemed to have come out of nowhere.  We had just celebrated our anniversary.  There was no reason for the sudden shift that I could see.  Nothing had changed between us.  But then again perhaps that was the problem.  Maybe I should’ve listened.

When you started childishly pushing and prodding my emotions, doing anything you could to upset me, I probably should’ve handled it differently.  My hurt turned to anger when instead I should’ve looked for ways to turn things around, to make things better.  I didn’t know how.  I was  lost.  I couldn’t believe this was happening, and it seemed to spiral out of control so fast that I didn’t know what to do.

When you asked that morning if I still wanted you to leave, I was so emotionally spent that I couldn’t even open my eyes.  I should’ve gotten up, if only to watch you leave.  I thought you would stay. When you didn’t, I thought you would come back…but you didn’t.

Looking back, I could’ve swallowed my pride and tried to help you.  I could’ve tried to really talk instead of fight.  I could’ve tried to stop you instead of dismissing you so easily… OR, maybe things worked out just the way they were supposed to.



  1. Its a completely different take at the theme.Yet you stuck with the theme and made a huge impact with the playful use of words.

  2. Heather, you fulfilled the theme perfectly. Yes, she thought about the things she could have done better, maybe prevented him from leaving, but at the end she feels acceptance.

    I like your straightforward voice in your story. You got my attention and kept it all the way through. Well done.


  3. Oh I like this. It fulfills the theme really well and sets a great scene.

  4. Makes me want to know what caused the 'shift.' A powerful piece of writing, well done.

  5. If only they listened to each other and gave themselves a space to talk,may be things would have twisted to another story,well written

    i liked it alot,thanks for sharing

  6. I love it when so few words can convey such powerful emotions. I can identify with this because I have so many hind-sight recriminations. If Only can sap a person of energy. I love how this ends though. Sometimes life feels bad for a while, and then if seems to work out.

    Reading this, I am satisfied that I know everything about this story and the characters that I need to know: they loved, they tried, they moved on with some regrets but no bitterness.

    Well done Sally.


  7. Ah Heather, I'm sorry :( I need to focus on where I am and who I'm talking to . .


  8. Very tightly written. You hit it on the nail.

  9. Hi,

    Well written piece. It adheres perfectly to the guidelines. The emotional aspect is overwhelming in that it reveals her innermost regrets and conveys a longing that won't go away any time soon.


  10. Great piece, I can relate to that - the idea came out of nowhere - I know that one!

  11. WOW! That was a great piece of writing.

  12. I love the emotion that comes through in your writing!

    I tagged you in a meme... stop by my blog!

  13. Dear Heather,
    Good piece of writing here. Only time can remove feelings and deep emotions. Yes, there will always be regrets, but true love conquers all things.

  14. This is really good, Heather. Well done. Things do work out the way they're supposed to, even if we don't recognise it at the time.

  15. Dear Heather,
    This fits the theme perfectly. Believable monolog about regrets. Just enough to express the load of emotion that lies behind the words. Why don't people talk with each other? Why don't they really try to listen?
    Well done.
    Best wishes,
    Three things I could have done better