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Friday, September 7, 2012

RFW - I Should Have Kissed You



What we are looking for is the hesitation, the uncertainty, and the (however temporary or permanent) consequences of the missed opportunity TO KISS.  We want our lips to feel it, our tongues to taste it, our bodies and minds to be so involved in the anticipation that we have to kiss our hand (or our uninterested significant other) just to be fulfilled 



Here we are years later on the brink of  major change, and I remember those earlier days as if they were yesterday. 

That first weekend, there was a certain awkwardness, at least for me.  I felt the pressure of maintaining a certain level of professionalism while still trying to loosen up and have a good time.  It was Saturday after all, but come Monday, we would be back in the office and I would be your boss again. 

You maintained the carefree attitude that exudes out of you on a full time basis.  I wish I had more of that.  I used to.  You made life seem so easy, so simple.  I am drawn to that attitude in ways I can’t describe.  Freedom!

That was a day filled with new and fun things and it couldn’t have been much better…except I felt as it I was going to burst inside.  You would reach out to touch me, and I would move away.   I don’t think you even knew what you were doing to me.  You were only giving the conversation more emphasis with the touch, but it meant so much more to me.  I had to stay strong or I would lose control.  Was it just me?

Later came the time when you invited me on your epic road trip.  We joked and laughed about what we would do and what a good time we would have.  No doubt it would’ve been a blast.  Was the invitation sincere?  My insecurities held me back again, even though we talked every day that you were gone.  

Do you remember the time that I was planning to move away?  You took me out to lunch and told me you loved me.  WHAT???  You never elaborated and I never asked, so the conversation fell short.  My eyes teared as I looked away to pull myself together…but I stayed, just in case.

Now the tables have turned and times have changed.  I am in a relationship and you are the one who is moving away.  Even though separate paths seem to make sense for us both, I can’t help but wonder what could've been.  Was I being too cautious? 

We have made a good team and I will be losing a piece of myself when you go away.  Now I will never know…

Oh if only I had kissed you when I had the chance!  


398/FCA




30 comments:

  1. I love it Heather! You're the first one I've had a chance to read, I have some major catching up to do on blogger. I like how she seems to be talking to him in her head.. Like she's thinking all these unspoken thoughts.. and I can hear the dreaminess in her voice, "oh if only I had kissed you when I had the chance." That wishful thinking. :)

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  2. Another time and place, that relationship would've been different.

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  3. Hi,

    An office romance and this one had all the trappings of being a epic :)

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  4. I felt the voice here was unique, but the emotions universal. I like that. It could have been a woman thinking about a man, or reverse, or any combination. You've struck at a truth of need, desire and uncertainty that we all feel at some pint. Well portrayed.

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  5. Tragic that they never gave it a shot. The insecurity felt authentic - how many great love stories never happen because of it? You know what tugged at my heart most? When they talked every day that he was gone on his trip. :)

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  6. I liked the anonymity of the piece. Who is the 'I' and the 'You' - male, female? An affair that never was, destined to always be the one that got away. I enjoyed reading this.

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  7. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing. I think writing romantic pieces would be very difficult.

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  8. Dear Heather,
    Your text fits the challenge well.
    Good job.

    Thank you for your very wise words in your comment on my post. If you think my text lacks drama and description it is because of the word limit, the prompt and the fact that this text is connected to a longer text.

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    RFW - I should have kissed you

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    Replies
    1. Hi sweet Anna. Heyoh, you had 600 words this time to create drama. Not everyone wants to write overly dramatically, but giving you 200 extra words means I'm disappointed that you would blame the word limit this time. I can get that with the 400 words where we have to leave out so much, but we can still work on our drama in 400 words.
      I think what people meant, is that the bad news at the end needed a more dramatic reaction. If you found you couldn't do that in 600 words, you needed to go back in your story and delete some unnecessary bits. That's the way we do it...

      Denise

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  9. Hi Heather,
    Your story made me think of possibilities. A mental diary, the character 'talking in her head' or having a conversation in her mind, with the object of her affections.

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  10. Hi Heather
    You had me guessing at this relationship for awhile and then I got it, an office romance that never got started. I guess I'm tired because you plainly said this beautifully. I felt all the emotions. That is the important thing. Well done.
    Nancy

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  11. The flirtatious teasing, the comfort of closeness that feels right, and yet wrong. The touch that makes you want to linger, the smile that makes you question the reality. He walked me to my car, his hand in mine, would he kiss me, should I let him? No...he's only being kind, he feels sorry for me, he's? Gosh, you wrote my experience almost to perfection, love being reminded of those memories. Thank you!

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  12. How many love stories go unfinished like this one? This was sad but sweet...

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  13. The hints and clues are there for both of them to act upon if they so choose to but neither of them do. The fear of spoiling their working relationship and the friendship they have comes across clearly. The 'what if' leaves us all wondering. I enjoyed this piece.

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  14. Awh that's sad. The music video was an uplifting treat after the emotion of your piece.

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  15. Hi,

    Bitter sweet memories, chances lost, yet sense of fear and of making a fool of one's self. Nonetheless sense of thrill too, in what might have been... Nicely penned reflections of inner desires. ;)

    best
    F

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  16. Nicely done. The regret for lost possibilities to which the answer will never be known. Some problems with communication too. Goes to show we should always be open in our relationships so no misunderstandings in the present and regret in the future.

    A high-quality tale Heather. Thanks for sharing.

    Denise

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  17. an incomplete love story...always intriguing...also found it interesting that genders aren't defined, could be romantic love between any two people, very cleverly done..

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  18. Aw; how sad for her. This is something that is always a problem in office etiquette. Seems like there could have been a great relationship. Someone may have lost something though.

    But I liked the nostalgia, the what if quality. Good work weaving in the theme.

    ........dhole

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  19. Timing is EVERYTHING. In a different time and place, something amazing could have ignited. But, this wasn't it.

    The sad voice and remorse is portrayed very well.

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  20. Gah! I so wanted them to kiss! A true missed chance :-(

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. You took an universal theme of missed chances and gave your perceptions and words. The result is a beautiful, moving flashback. I loved the fact that I can't guess the gender of the narrator though the "eyes teared" part would apply to women more than men. Did I guess the narrator in question?

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  23. Ah, so many missed opportunities. You captured the essence of regret well here, Heather. Well done.

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  25. If only... The substance of life and broken dreams... Sad and wisful describes it so perfectly. Great Post!

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  26. We can all say that at one or points of our life. Then there are the times I went for it and got slapped, kicked, or arrested. Restraining orders too. Just kidding. A little MOnday morning humor there.

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  27. OMGosh I love it! What a lovely writing. I don't know I was some how hoping for a kiss and a they lived happily after, real life isn't like that all sometimes.

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